and that's all I have left...
I dreamed last night that you were a little boy and I had racks full of superhero t-shirts that you were trying on. I got bunches of clothing for you and your sister and you were just so happy and going through the clothes laughing and showing things to your sister, your smiles beaming.
It was good to see you, to be your mom... and for a moment I thought it was real...
Then I woke up and you faded away. The only place I get to see you is my dreams. I don't want to stop dreaming of you and at the same time, it kills me to wake up and remember that you're gone.
Kiddo, you left me with so many questions... what I could have done differently... why did it have to end like that? Why did it have to end at all? What if we had done this or that? Why didn't I watch Moana when you told me to? Why didn't I listen to all your superhero stories? Why didn't I watch teen wolf? What if I had taken more time, said the right things, would you be here today?
I can't stop the questions....I can't hide the tears... though I try, I really try. And I get it kiddo, sometimes I want to give up too... but I can't do that to the people who love me, I can't do that to your sister...and DAMMIT I stayed kiddo!! I stayed! Why couldn't you??
My heart is so broken kiddo, all I have is dreams left.... and memories... and regrets... I wish you could have stayed...
💙❤
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